I Just Walked In On My Boss Having Sex

Dear JJ:

I promise I do not work at Seattle Grace Hospital from Grey’s Anatomy,  but this is going to sound like it.  I’m a male administrative assistant, I just walked in on my boss and her new boyfriend having sex in her office.  She didn’t see me, but the boyfriend did.  He also works for this company.  I don’t know what to do.  Help.  

Blinded

Dear Blinded,

What you might want to do is, wait for it…… nothing.  If your boss’s new boyfriend is not complaining, hasn’t come to you about the situation, your boss hasn’t mentioned it, then my advice is to forget it.  I know that will be hard.

Now in anticipation of what could happen, let’s talk a little more about, any change in behavior toward you from your boss, her boyfriend or anyone else that you think might know or think they know.  Office gossip is like a forest fire, fast moving and hot.   People might start coming to you if they suspect or have heard something.  Please, oh please, be the ultimate professional and do not participate in the office gossip.  If the boyfriend told your boss, you saw them, she may be waiting to see how you react. If you continue business as usual, then that sends a clear sign that you know it is none of your business and you will not be getting involved.

If she or he start putting pressure on you or treating you differently and you feel your job is on the line, you could do one of a couple of things:

• Tell your boss you do not plan to discuss what you saw with anyone.
• If what you saw if really bothering you and you and she have a good relationship you could ask her to make sure you have some warning when she will be involved in private business in her office.  Offer to have a lock installed if there isn’t one.
• If the office love making continues and you are offended or upset by it, look for other options, what other jobs are open, or is there another company where you might like to start over.
• If you are part of a large company and you feel you need to report her behavior to human resources, you can take that route, but I tell you right now, it will not end well for you.  Have your Plan B ready.

No matter what, YOU should not mirror her unprofessional behavior with bad behavior or your own.  Do not talk to anyone and do not plan to use this against her or him in any way.  It is odd how sometimes the person in the right can become the person in the wrong very quickly…. Think about this, it usually isn’t the person who throws the first elbow that receives the foul.   Let me know how you are doing in a few weeks.  Hope this helps.

Anyone else have ideas or similar experiences? Please share in the comments below!

JJ